Swingers FAQ: Honest Answers for the Curious and the Kinky
Are you curious about consensual non-monogamy? Being open to non-monogamy is not the same thing as actively practising it, and there are so many unknowns and questions for those who are looking to explore the lifestyle.
It may not be for everyone, but for some it can make their relationship stronger. It takes extremely good communication skills to make consensual non-monogamy work, and people in open relationships report high levels of relational success.
Have you ever wondered what is involved in taking the first step into that lifestyle? In our latest interview, we have asked the questions you all want the answers to.
Meet the incredibly talented Tanya, (Corruption Events Host, podcaster, guest on Channel 4s Open House) who is an expert in consensual non-monogamy along with her partner Ash.
Tell us a bit about yourselves and Corruption Events!
We’re Ash and Tanya, a married couple from Leeds who are proudly open about our lifestyle. We’ve been in the swinging scene for six years and now host our own exclusive events under the brand Corruption Events. These are club nights and social experiences designed to bring open minded people together in a fun, safe, and inclusive environment, whether they’re curious newcomers or confident veterans. We also create lifestyle content and share our journey to help break the stigma around ethical non monogamy.
What is swinging?
Swinging is a form of consensual non monogamy where individuals or couples explore sexual experiences with others. It’s not about cheating or secrecy, it’s about trust, communication, and shared excitement. For some, it’s about adding a spark to their relationship; for others, it’s simply a way to express their sexuality more freely. There’s no one size fits all approach, every couple sets their own boundaries.
How did you get into the swinging lifestyle?
It started with a female friend asking for a threesome, then a conversation between us, just being open and curious about fantasies and desires. We dipped our toes in that weekend at a local club to get a feel for the scene. It was nerve wracking at first, but we soon found a whole community of welcoming, likeminded people. It became something we not only enjoyed sexually but also socially.
Can you be selective with who you choose to play with?
Absolutely, and you should be! Consent, attraction, and mutual respect are the foundations of swinging. You’re never expected to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with. It’s perfectly normal (and encouraged) to be choosy about who you play with. It’s your experience, your rules.
Do you have to be in a couple to be a swinger?
Not at all. While many swingers are couples, there are also singles (single women are often referred to as unicorns ) who are welcome in the scene, especially when they’re respectful and understand the etiquette. That said, every event is different. Some are couples only, some welcome singles, and others are more fluid. Always check the vibe before attending.
What misconceptions does society have about swinging? And what would you say to correct them?
The biggest misconception is that swinging is sleazy or that people in the lifestyle are unhappy in their relationships. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Most swingers have solid communication, deep trust, and an active sex life. It’s not about replacing your partner it’s about sharing experiences together. We’d say: don’t knock it until you’ve actually learned about it from people in the lifestyle.
Do you have to have sex each time you attend an event?
Not at all! Plenty of people attend just to socialise, dance, flirt, and connect. The best events create an atmosphere where you can do as little or as much as you like. There’s no pressure. Sometimes just getting dressed up and being around sexy, open-minded people is enough.
What do you wear to a swinging event to feel empowered?
Confidence is the sexiest outfit, but a killer lingerie set helps! For women, seductive lingerie, sheer dresses, harnesses, or bold bodysuits are popular. For men, fitted shirts, smart trousers, and sexy boxer briefs go a long way. Dress codes vary, but the goal is always the same: feel empowered, confident, and totally in your element.
Can you keep your identity secret in the swinging lifestyle?
Yes. Many people in the lifestyle choose to keep things private. Using a screen name, attending out of town events, or joining vetted communities can help protect your anonymity. Consent also applies to privacy, photos and names are never shared without permission.
What’s the difference between swinging and polyamory?
Swinging is usually about recreational sex with others, often as a couple. Polyamory focuses more on emotional connections and multiple relationships. There’s overlap, but they’re not the same.
How do you stay emotionally secure in the lifestyle?
We focus on our connection first, communicate often, and debrief after experiences. Jealousy can happen, but talking it through honestly makes us stronger.
How do you find trustworthy events or clubs?
Ask for recommendations, read reviews, and trust your gut. Events like Corruption are selective for a reason, we want everyone to feel safe and sexy.
What are the top tips or advice you would give someone who wants to start in the swinging lifestyle?
- Communicate openly with your partner before, during, and after any experience.
- Start slow. Attend a social event or club night before jumping into anything physical.
- Know your boundaries and respect others. A “no” is always okay.
- Join reputable communities or attend trusted events like Corruption.
- Be respectful, hygienic, and honest, the basics go a long way.
- Have fun! It’s about enjoyment, not pressure.
